Racketty-Packetty House, as Told by Queen Crosspatch is a Webnovel created by Frances Hodgson Burnett.
This lightnovel is currently completed.
“Yes, I do,” said Peg, sitting up and holding her ragged old blanket up to her chin.
Lady Patsy jumped up with feathers sticking up all over her hair, because they had come out of the holes in the ragged old bed. She ran to the window and listened.
“Oh! Meg and Peg!” she cried out. “It comes from the Castle.
Cynthia has left them all raving in delirium and they are all shouting and groaning and screaming.”
Meg and Peg jumped up too.
“Let’s go and call Kilmanskeg and Ridiklis and Gustibus and Peter Piper,” they said, and they rushed to the staircase and met Kilmanskeg and Ridiklis and Gustibus and Peter Piper coming scrambling up panting because the noise had wakened them as well.
They were all over at Tidy Castle in a minute. They just tumbled over each other to get there–the kind-hearted things. The servants were every one fast asleep, though the noise was awful. The loudest groans came from Lady Gwendolen and Lord Francis because their mustard plasters were blistering them frightfully.
Ridiklis took charge, because she was the one who knew most about illness. She sent Gustibus to waken the servants and then ordered hot water and cold water, and ice, and brandy, and poultices, and shook the trained nurse for not attending to her business–and took off the mustard plasters and gave gruel and broth and cough syrup and castor oil and ipecacuanha, and everyone of the Racketty-Packettys ma.s.saged, and soothed, and patted, and put wet cloths on heads, until the fever was gone and the Castle dolls all lay back on their pillows pale and weak, but smiling faintly at every Racketty-Packetty they saw, instead of turning up their noses and tossing their heads and sniffing loudly, and just _scorning_ them.
Lady Gwendolen spoke first and instead of being haughty and disdainful, she was as humble as a new-born kitten.
“Oh! you dear, shabby, disrespectable, darling things!” she said.
“Never, never, will I scorn you again. Never, never!”
[Transcriber’s Note: See picture shabby.jpg]
“That’s right!” said Peter Piper in his cheerful, rather slangy way. “You take my tip-never you scorn any one again. It’s a mistake. Just you watch me stand on my head. It’ll cheer you up.”
And he turned six summersaults–just like lightning–and stood on his head and wiggled his ragged legs at them until suddenly they heard a snort from one of the beds and it was Lord Hubert beginning to laugh and then Lord Francis laughed and then Lord Hubert shouted, and then Lady Doris squealed, and Lady Muriel screamed, and Lady Gwendolen and the d.u.c.h.ess rolled over and over in their beds, laughing as if they would have fits.
“Oh! you delightful, funny, shabby old loves!” Lady Gwendolen kept saying. “To think that we scorned you.”
“They’ll be all right after this,” said Peter Piper. “There’s nothing cures scarlet fever like cheering up. Let’s all join hands and dance round and round once for them before we go back to bed.
It’ll throw them into a nice light perspiration and they’ll drop off and sleep like tops.” And they did it, and before they had finished, the whole lot of them were perspiring gently and snoring as softly as lambs.
When they went back to Racketty-Packetty House they talked a good deal about Cynthia and wondered and wondered why she had left her scarlet fever so suddenly. And at last Ridiklis made up her mind to tell them something she had heard.
“The d.u.c.h.ess told me,” she said, rather slowly because it was bad news–“The d.u.c.h.ess said that Cynthia went away because her Mama had sent for her–and her Mama had sent for her to tell her that a little girl princess is coming to see her to-morrow. Cynthia’s Mama used to be a maid of honor to the Queen and that’s why the little girl Princess is coming. The d.u.c.h.ess said–” and here Ridiklis spoke very slowly indeed, “that the nurse was so excited she said she did not know whether she stood on her head or her heels, and she must tidy up the nursery and have that Racketty-Packetty old dolls’ house carried down stairs and burned, early to-morrow morning. That’s what the d.u.c.h.ess _said_–“
Meg and Peg and Kilmanskeg clutched at their hearts and gasped and Gustibus groaned and Lady Patsy caught Peter Piper by the arm to keep from falling. Peter Piper gulped–and then he had a sudden cheerful thought.
“Perhaps she was raving in delirium,” he said.
“No, she wasn’t,” said Ridiklis shaking her head, “I had just given her hot water and cold, and gruel, and broth, and castor oil, and ipecacuanha and put ice almost all over her. She was as sensible as any of us. To-morrow morning we shall not have a house over our heads,” and she put her ragged old ap.r.o.n over her face and cried.
[Transcriber’s Note: See picture ap.r.o.n.jpg]
“If she wasn’t raving in delirium,” said Peter Piper, “we shall not have any heads. You had better go back to the Castle tonight, Patsy. Racketty-Packetty House is no place for you.”
Then Lady Patsy drew herself up so straight that she nearly fell over backwards.
“I–will–_never_–leave you!” she said, and Peter Piper couldn’t make her.
You can just imagine what a doleful night it was. They went all over the house together and looked at every hole in the carpet and every piece of stuffing sticking out of the dear old shabby sofas, and every broken window and chair leg and table and ragged blanket– and the tears ran down their faces for the first time in their lives. About six o’clock in the morning Peter Piper made a last effort.
[Transcriber’s Note: See picture together.jpg]
“Let’s all join hands in a circle,” he said quite faintly, “and dance round and round once more.”
But it was no use. When they joined hands they could not dance, and when they found they could not dance they all tumbled down in a heap and cried instead of laughing and Lady Patsy lay with her arms round Peter Piper’s neck.
Now here is where I come in again–Queen Crosspatch–who is telling you this story. I always come in just at the nick of time when people like the Racketty-Packettys are in trouble. I walked in at seven o’clock.
“Get up off the floor,” I said to them all and they got up and stared at me. They actually thought I did not know what had happened.
“A little girl Princess is coming this morning,” said Peter Piper, and our house is going to be burned over our heads. This is the end of Racketty-Packetty House.”
“No, it isn’t!” I said. “You leave this to me. I told the Princess to come here, though she doesn’t know it in the least.”
A whole army of my Working Fairies began to swarm in at the nursery window. The nurse was working very hard to put things in order and she had not sense enough to see Fairies at all. So she did not see mine, though there were hundreds of them. As soon as she made one corner tidy, they ran after her and made it untidy. They held her back by her dress and hung and swung on her ap.r.o.n until she could scarcely move and kept wondering why she was so slow. She could not make the nursery tidy and she was so flurried she forgot all about Racketty-Packetty House again–especially as my Working Fairies pushed the arm-chair close up to it so that it was quite hidden.
And there it was when the little girl Princess came with her Ladies in Waiting. My fairies had only just allowed the nurse to finish the nursery.
Meg and Peg and Kilmanskeg and Ridiklis and Gustibus and Peter Piper and Lady Patsy were huddled up together looking out of one window. They could not bear to be parted. I sat on the arm of the big chair and ordered my Working Fairies to stand ready to obey me the instant I spoke.
The Princess was a nice child and was very polite to Cynthia when she showed her all her dolls, and last but not least, Tidy Castle itself. She looked at all the rooms and the furniture and said polite and admiring things about each of them. But Cynthia realized that she was not so much interested in it as she had thought she would be. The fact was that the Princess had so many grand dolls’
houses in her palace that Tidy Castle did not surprise her at all.
It was just when Cynthia was finding this out that I gave the order to my Working Fairies.
“Push the arm-chair away,” I commanded; “very slowly, so that no one will know it is being moved.”
So they moved it away–very, very slowly and no one saw that it had stirred. But the next minute the little girl Princess gave a delightful start.
“Oh! what is that!” she cried out, hurrying towards the unfashionable neighborhood behind the door.
Cynthia blushed all over and the nurse actually turned pale. The Racketty-Packettys tumbled down in a heap beneath their window and began to say their prayers very fast.
“It is only a shabby old doll’s house, your Highness,” Cynthia stammered out. “It belonged to my Grandmamma, and it ought not to be in the nursery. I thought you had had it burned, Nurse!”
“Burned!” the little girl Princess cried out in the most shocked way. “Why if it was mine, I wouldn’t have it burned for worlds! Oh!
please push the chair away and let me look at it. There are no doll’s houses like it anywhere in these days.” And when the arm-chair was pushed aside she scrambled down on to her knees just as if she was not a little girl Princess at all.
“Oh! Oh! Oh!” she said. “How funny and dear! What a darling old doll’s house. It is shabby and wants mending, of course, but it is almost exactly like one my Grandmamma had–she kept it among her treasures and only let me look at it as a great, great treat.”
Cynthia gave a gasp, for the little girl Princess’s Grandmamma had been the Queen and people had knelt down and kissed her hand and had been obliged to go out of the room backwards before her.
The little girl Princess was simply filled with joy. She picked up Meg and Peg and Kilmanskeg and Gustibus and Peter Piper as if they had been really a Queen’s dolls.
“Oh! the darling dears,” she said. “Look at their nice, queer faces and their funny clothes. Just–just like Grandmamma’s dollies’
clothes. Only these poor things do so want new ones. Oh! how I should like to dress them again just as they used to be dressed, and have the house all made just as it used to be when it was new.”
“That old Racketty-Packetty House,” said Cynthia, losing her breath.
“If it were mine I should make it just like Grandmamma’s and I should love it more than any doll’s house I have. I never–never– never–saw anything as nice and laughing and good natured as these dolls’ faces. They look as if they had been having fun ever since they were born. Oh! if you were to burn them and their home I–I could never forgive you!”