Dungeon And Sex – Want to spice things up? Consider a sex prison. Now don’t panic: the sex dungeon doesn’t have to be the “red room of pain” from the 50 Shades movies. It can be as elaborate or as simple as you want, or as your budget and timeline allows. For example, you can simply decide on a “sex room” or designate a corner of the room for your strange toys.
No matter how high you aim, determine the purpose of the space and how you want to use it. Decide what activities you want to do. Start with what you already like and then decide what activities you might want to try in the space.
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Once you decide on these things, you can start planning to make these activities easier. If you have enough square meters, you can leave room for future “construction”. Here you may have new activities, quirks or sexual pleasures that may attract you in the future. This is the equivalent of “making space” – both energetically and physically – for your sex life.
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Setting the mood is key to creating the right BDSM space. So many things go into “mood” or “atmosphere”. Choosing the right lighting options can make or break the atmosphere you are trying to create. BDSM often involves a sense of drama and gravity.
For example, if you’re a dominant and want to get your brave submissive in the right frame of mind to be serious with your commands, you don’t want to have bright lights and pastel pillows everywhere. There’s a reason why BDSM colors tend to be in the black/red/gray range. They evoke a sense of dark drama and tension. (Of course, you can adjust the mood/colors to any type of crease, so don’t feel tied to dark colors… It’s just something to keep in mind!)
Contrary to popular belief – you don’t need a bed for a dungeon! In fact, many dungeons have no beds. So if you don’t think your bedroom is ideal for a sex dungeon, don’t panic. You can use another room or space to create a dungeon. Maybe put it somewhere that isn’t your normal “living” space, like a basement or attic.
In any case, you must consider the dimensions of the available space in order to plan accordingly. This is especially important if you are considering a group game. More people, more space you need!
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Consider the level of privacy you need. You don’t want Aunt Bessie accidentally bumping into your twisted dungeon on her way to the bathroom. Consider what kind of door you want, including how it looks from the outside. Locking your door is another way to protect your privacy. Sex is nothing to be ashamed of – but there’s nothing wrong with keeping your sex life private.
Likewise, if there are windows in the room that people can see through, you may want to darken them. This helps with mood and privacy. Some even soundproof their sex room or dungeon so their play can be as loud as they want.
No matter your level of concern, there are tons of products that can help you create the perfect space for a super sexy time. Here are some great sex dungeon toys, accessories and furniture:
Sec Swing. The sex swing is such a great addition to the dungeon. You can get this affordable one from Sportsheets for around $73. What’s great is that you don’t have to attach it to the ceiling with a big screw. It is designed to fit over the door and is versatile enough to accommodate several different positions.
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Darkening mask. If you can’t completely darken the windows, a blackout mask is a great way to create atmosphere and tension. Sportsheets has a great one that you can buy and keep on your dungeon wall.
Cuff Links. A dungeon just wouldn’t be complete without a set of handcuffs on hand to restrain your partner. If you have a bed, you can keep them near it. Or use one designed to place your partner’s wrists overhead. Even better, if you’re playing in bed or even on the floor, these suction cuffs are a great restraint option.
Collar and leash. Your subordinate/subordinate may want to be led by the collar during the session. In this case, you can install a hook on the wall and hang a collar and leash for use in your dungeon.
Spanking Paddle. Pain play tools (ie hit play) can be a huge part of your dungeon game. There are many to choose from, from whips to whips to walking sticks. I like to tell people to start with the basics: the paddle. They’re not too expensive and are a good starting point – as well as a ‘prop’ for kicks if you want more than bare-handed kicks.
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Stock. We tend to get caught up in all the fun sex toys and gadgets we can buy and use in our dungeons. But we forget that they need a place to stay when we are not playing. Choosing the right storage space can help you plan your BDSM sessions and organize your toys. One way to organize and store tools when not in use is to put hooks on the walls of your dungeon. Not only does this help you stay organized, but displaying them can set the psychological tone you may want for your subordinate. Extra tip: it’s better to store braces on hooks than jumbled up in a drawer.
Playing in a sex dungeon can be nasty. By the end of your session, there’s a good chance you’ll have several fluids on different parts of your body. Freshen up with Voo More Play wipes because you don’t have time for a full shower!
People often get so caught up in the excitement of creating a dungeon that they don’t consider the safety elements that should be built into the design and planning. If you are using restraints, playing pain/hitting, or any other potentially physically and emotionally risky activities (eg, sadism, humiliation, disobedience, etc.), you should consider safer alternatives and contingency plans.
For example, if you plan on playing with shot a lot, you may want to keep an ice cooler on hand or have ice packs stored in your pantry/container. Also consider what items are needed to help with aftercare, such as soft blankets and pillows for your submissive or partner to cuddle. Think about anything you’ve used in the past or need to calm your partner down if you’re on top/dominant, especially if you’re having intense play.
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After all, your sex dungeon is your space. Let your inner BDSM guru run wild and make it your own.
Emily Ann is a best-selling author, sex coach and educator who specializes in helping people expand their sexual horizons through BDSM and cheerleading. When she’s not obsessed with sex, she’s walking around the Hollywood Hills. Get a sexy education on her Instagram feed!
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