Marry My Husband – A year ago my wife, Amy Krouse Rosenthal, published a contemporary love article entitled You May Want to Marry My Husband. At 51, Amy was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. He wrote his essay in the form of a personal ad. It’s like a love letter to me.
Little did Amy know that I would take the opportunity of her essay to fill this column with my own words about Father’s Day and tell you what has happened since. I wouldn’t say Amy is gifted with words and puns, but here she is.
Marry My Husband
During our time together, Amy was a prolific author, publishing children’s books, memoirs, and articles. When he realizes that he only has a short time to live, he wants to complete one last project. Back then, we entered the home hospital, a beautiful way of reaching the end of life, where you can take care of your loved ones in familiar places, away from the hospital and its sound machine and many problems.
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I was posted at the dining table overlooking our living room where Amy had set up her workspace. From his place on the couch, he works between micro-sleeps.
These brief periods of peace were due to morphine to control his symptoms. The stomach interfered with the intestines so much that he could not eat solid food. He flew over the keyboard, fell asleep for a while, woke up and came back.
When he finished his essay, he gave it to me to read as he did all his writings. But this time it’s different. In his memoirs he had written about the children and me, but not like this. How can he combine the elements of sadness, humor and all honesty?
Listen: André Holland reads ‘My Wife Said You Want To Marry Me’ This week the Modern Love podcast features Jason B. Rosenthal’s response to his wife’s essay.
Marry My Husband
When the essay was published, Amy was keen to acknowledge it. When the world reacted, I was saddened that he had lost the power of his words. The reach of Amy’s writing – and the breadth of her work – is much deeper and richer than I thought.
Letters came from all over the world. They contained messages of admiration, health tips, compliments, and offers from women to meet me. I was too sad in Amy’s final days to respond to the answers. The attention I received at the time was amazing, but publication made me really appreciate the importance of his work.
When people ask me to describe myself, I always start with “Dad,” but I’ve spent my adult life being called “Amy’s husband.” People knew Amy and her writing while I remained anonymous. I have not been on social media and in my profession as a lawyer I have not been exposed to the public.
After Amy’s death, I faced many decisions in my new role as a single father. As in marriage or the union of two people with children, there is a division of labor for us. Not yet. People have often said that Amy is in danger because of her list: the strewn sticky notes, scraps of paper, and handwritten notes. But he’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met.
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It’s an aspect of everyday life that I’ve grappled with that I didn’t really think about before. How did Amy get everything? There are many things I can do on my own, but two people can work together and support each other through the ups and downs of life.
Many women have been impressed by what Amy has to offer and she offers a variety of posts – very direct, funny, smart, awake and honest. In a six-page handwritten letter, a woman sold her knowledge of bikes, apparently to convince me: “I know how to check the radiator in the car to see if it needs water before the engine starts. .”
While I don’t know much about reality TV, there is this comforting letter from the child of a single mother who wrote: “I would like to propose to my mother that friends and family would like to be a potential contestant on ‘The Graduate.’ ‘”
And I appreciated the thought and attitude of the woman who wrote this: “I have this picture of the rows of hopeful women on Thursday night at the Green Mill Jazz Club. Single mothers, brides, aunts, pregnant women who are bored, girls, dry calves … worried that the shoe will be comfortable and they will be alone, the owner of the story means to them. You are the right people.
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I couldn’t digest any of those messages at the time, but I found comfort and humor in many of them. One thing I have realized is what a gift Amy has given me by extending my life to be filled with happiness, joy and love. His command to fill my own void with a new story has enabled me to make the most of my remaining time on this earth.
If I can share one message I’ve learned from this gift, it’s this: Talk to your spouse, children, and other loved ones about what you want for them when you’re gone. By doing this, you give them a chance to live a lifetime and find meaning again. It hurts so much, they think of you every day. But they will move on and have new opportunities, knowing you gave them permission and encouraged them to do so.
I wish I had more time with Amy. I want to spend more time picnicking and listening to music in Millennium Park. I want more Shabbat dinners with the five of us Rosies (as our family calls us Rosenthals).
I will be patient with Amy as long as she chooses to say goodbye to everyone at our family gatherings, as always, although we have been there a long time there is a long drive home. maybe see you again in a few days.
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I want more of all of these things just like Amy wanted more. But there are more things that do not concern him or us. But, as he said, we follow the “Be” plan, which is about living in our lives because time is short. And we’ll do our best to live in the moment until there’s no more time.
The worst thing in my life is the loss of my best friend, my 26-year-old wife and the mother of my three children, for which I am grateful every day. I know it sounds like a cliché and it’s true, but it’s true.
Amy continues to open doors for me, touch my choices and let me out in the world to make the best of it. I recently gave a TED talk about the end of life and my grieving process that I hope will help others – I didn’t describe myself that way, but I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to connect with people like that to kick. Of course I’m just writing to you now.
I know now, as much as I wish I had never learned, that death is death, whether it’s divorce, unemployment, the death of a beloved pet, or living with a family member’s illness. In that respect I was no different. But my wife gave me a gift at the end of her post when she left me this empty space that I want to share with you. There is a vacancy. Freedom and permission to write your own story.
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Jason B. Rosenthal, who lives in Chicago, is the author of the upcoming picture book Dear Children, which he co-wrote with his daughter Paris.
To listen to New Love: The Podcast, subscribe to iTunes or Google Play Music. To read previous New Love posts, click here. Keep following our fashion and lifestyle stories on Facebook (Fashion and New Love), Twitter (Style, Fashion and Weddings) and Instagram.Writer and filmmaker Amy Krouse Rosenthal touched readers’ hearts last year when she shared a heartbreaking story her husband, Jason Rosenthal, wrote about her just days before he died of ovarian cancer.
Now, in a candid TED Talk, Jason Rosenthal opens up about his late wife’s final days and how he learned to find joy again after losing his longtime friend at age 26.
“My wife died of ovarian cancer in our bed,” Rosenthal recently told the audience at a 2018 TED Conference, the video of which was released this week.
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