My Lazy Sundays Prank Link – This time last year, I wasn’t in the mood to tell a worthless story with privileged college kids. Or at least I didn’t think I was. I was one of the nearly 8.5 million American workers who were unemployed, fearing that the US economy was on the verge of collapse. Cash was hard. With unemployment and isolation came a monotonous pessimism about my economic future – sadly replaced by the paycheck. While doing the laundry during the national coin shortage, I naively thought that the currency was on the verge of obsolescence.
One Friday night, amid that obscure fallout, cheap pizza bites, and even cheaper beer drinks, I heard a story from three Williams College students I was dating at the time. I was tagged for a reunion weekend at a Vermont airbnb that I didn’t pay for (and couldn’t afford), and I realized I had nothing better to do than listen to men I don’t know reminisce about their glory days. In a university city I’ve never been to.
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However, this story did not happen in their golden student days. Although before their time, they became the expanded memory of the main characters. As I wandered through the trials, I felt like I had stopped chewing, my lower jaw opened. “Wait, back off” and cut the story short.
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I make stories for a living and when I spent everything it gave me a few precious dollars. In the depleted treasury of my mental reserves, I have placed this story, more precious than its words.
Thirteen years ago, Brendan Christian, a sophomore at Williams College, noticed an unusual number of $2 bills entering his life.
It first appeared at a party. Grabbing a handful of tortilla chips, he found a folded $2 bill in the bowl. “Look what I found!” He shouted at his classmates who were flying around with snacks. “This is so rare!” One of the guests responded, fueling Brendan’s enthusiasm.
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The other five appeared in the dining room, where Brendan pulled out a pile of starch-covered $2 bills in his mashed potatoes. He turned to his friend and veteran cross country teammate Bill Furness and exclaimed, “I better get rid of these because I know how rare they are.”
Five more were in the student mailroom as Brendan scanned the mail pile and stood over an envelope from Utah with an unsigned handwritten return address. Drawing a space for everyone he knew in the Chicago area west of his hometown, Brendan poked his finger under the seal’s seal to find five clean, pristine $2 bills.
Someone must have played a prank on him and put the money in their way. Cash, a hand-to-hand coin, can tell a story through the chain of ownership if we’re savvy enough to track down money. While Brendan couldn’t imagine who was responsible for the $2 bills or why they were involved in his life, he was part of a story that began long before he set foot on the Williams campus. It’s a story as old as our ability to value.
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When she opened her letter from Utah, Brendan had forgotten the conversation months ago in the dining room before the chips, the mashed potatoes, and the anonymous letter. After team track and field practice, it became clear that someone owed money to someone else. It was a small debt: a coffee or a beer – and a $2 bill in between to settle the bill.
It caught the desk’s attention, and the conversation turned to the US supply. how many are they? How rare are they?
Some people were sure that $2 was hard earned, remembering how their relatives would give them these bills as a Christmas present. My grandfather gifted me the holidays by handing me the $2 bills that I had stored in a rectangular metal box in my childhood bedroom where they sat untouched today.
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Everyone took sides at the dinner. Brendan spoke in a low voice, but was adamant that he had been lucky to see Dos. And while Bill Furness was skeptical of the $2 rarity, it sparked an interest: “Brendan had the ‘Oh my God’ Midwestern charm and he came up with the idea that I could use the $2 bills. I’ll give him a shot. I’ll give him a dollar for excitement.”
Bill has long been known as a master of hijacking. A team had driven their van down the mountain without brakes. After a night of track and field race, he was out for rafting on Massachusetts’s bustling Green River in a inflatable turtle. “Bill never hesitates to do anything, even if it’s a lot of work,” Brendan says. “No matter the effort, she always thinks it’s worth it.”
First, Bill planted a rare seed. After dinner, he emailed a link to everyone in the chat and directed those who clicked on it (including Brendan) to a rambling website called the “Official $2 Billing Website,” which Bill Rooz posted using a template he had set himself. Manufacturer. He did not convincingly explain that it was only 100 $2 bills.
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He then began tossing small bills into chips and mashed potatoes before turning his attention to the letter and sending one of Yutan’s friends a pre-addressed envelope with instructions to ship it to Williamstown, Massachusetts. Where he found his way to Brendan in the student mailroom.
A few weeks after receiving the letter, Brendan was flipping through the environmental studies exam notebook in a large lecture hall when a man walked into the classroom. An unusual interruption in the quiet lecture hall made Brendan lose his concentration, look up from his exam, and watch the intervening person turn toward the professor—a little older, perhaps a senior, but Brendan hadn’t seen him before. “I need to find out if Brendan Christian is in the classroom right now.”
Surprised but pleased, the professor pointed to the wooden chair where Brendan was sitting. The serious stranger approached Brendan and handed him an unmarked, manila envelope.
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Brendan dutifully finished his exam before touching the envelope, but on his way out of the classroom, he opened the envelope, dipped his hand into it and brushed it with green leafy brushes: a wad of 100 bills. He took the bills and with them came a piece of paper with a phone number on it. He dialed the number, waited for her to shut up, and then listened to a recorded voicemail of four numbers.
Confused, Brendan was sure he had caught her now. But he also believed that the $2 bill was rare. Bill remembers saying, “Guys, I’m a little scared.” Brendan’s belief that there are very few valuable dollars in the world.
Amused, Bill went to Walmart and bought two items: a lockable bag like the one he’d seen in movies with big cash deals, and a pair of sturdy metal bracelets. He measured the bag in his dorm room and calculated that it could hold $4,800 in $2 bills.
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Bill checked his bank balance and for the first time during his elaborate plan was limited by the fact that he only had $3,700 in his bank account. What he got instead of another thousand dollars was a friend willing to lend him $100. Not one to do anything half-baked, Bill was determined to fill the bag to the brim.
The next morning, after collecting the money, Bill went to Spring Street TD Banknorth, south of the Williams campus, got the cashier’s number and asked him to withdraw the $4,800 bills. Bank employees were not worried. “Of course, we can probably get it to you in two days,” one replied.
And like clockwork, or the simple laws of supply and demand, Bill returned to the bank two days later and drew about five large $2 bills. Unspoiled, crunchy in every corner, as if they had just been minted for him, the bundles were still in their packages and tied to official currency. He packed his suitcase and went to dinner.
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In the dining room that evening, Brendan returned to his seat seconds later. He set his plate next to his milk glass and took a sip as the metal key caught in his teeth. “Because it was opaque, it was the perfect drink to hide the key,” Bill recalls. Not surprisingly, milk was the beverage of choice for Midwestern health brands.
A messy Brendan pulled the key from his mug and held it close to him with a sickening feeling as if he had the unknown lock’s counterpart. As she was getting ready for bed in the evening, her anxiety did not subside until there was a knock on her door. (Despite
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