One Liner Jokes – If you’re looking for the biggest laugh out of some wos, you’ve come to the right place. To respect
100th anniversary, we’ve collected 100 jokes, puns and funny one-liners that are short, sharp and easy to deliver. We’ve also thrown in a few cringe-worthy jokes between these hilarious one-liners, so be on the lookout. Craving more? Check out our collection of cheesy pickup lines and our ever-popular dad jokes. Then move on to bad jokes that you can’t help but laugh at, short jokes that everyone can remember, and for the little ones, short jokes for kids.
One Liner Jokes
10. Before you marry someone, you should have them use a computer with a slow internet connection to see who they really are.
Hilarious One Liners!
12. Some men say they don’t wear their wedding bands because it cuts off circulation. Well, that’s the point, right?
13. Advice to husbands: Try to praise your wife once in a while, even if she is surprised at first.
14. Did you hear about the sheep that drove his lambs into town? He was ticketed for doing the EE round.
Puns, Dad Jokes, And One Liners: A Joke Becomes A Dad Joke When It Reaches Full Groan By T.h. Leatherman
24. Of course I can’t say anything about him unless I can say something good. And, oh boy, is it good…
26. He left me with the feeling that when we buried the dog, he would mark the exact spot.
29. They have treated me like one of the family, and I have put up with it as long as I can.
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31. Their first daughter was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Now they are expecting triplets so they can have a complete set.
32. I spend a lot of time, money and effort to protect my house…but the kids still get in.
33. A small child sits on his father’s lap: “I am still confused. Was I born in a nest or a nest?”
Extremely Funny One Liners
35. My mother was very surprised when I told her that I was born again. He said he didn’t feel anything!
37. What does one cannibal say to the other while eating the clown? “Does this sound fun to you?”
40. What do you need to make a small income on Wall Street? A great blessing.
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41. One of the peculiarities of Wall Street is that traders, not customers, are brokers.
42. Rich people are people who aren’t afraid to show the clerk what’s cheap.
43. If you withdraw $2 from an ATM that charges $2.50, do you pay the machine?
Multiple One Liner Puns Jokes Funny Says All Text
48. The reason some politicians like to stand on their feet is to prevent voters from checking them.
50. My father is allergic to cotton. He has pills he can take, but he can’t get them out of the bottle.
51. If you live honestly, eat slowly, sleep enough, work diligently, worship honestly and lie about your age, you will stay young forever.
Clean Dog Jokes For Kids! — Weird World
52. How can you tell if you are getting old? When you go to an antique auction and three people outbid you.
58. … the nation’s snail that removes its shell? He thought it would make him faster, but it slowed him down.
64. How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but he has to do it while you’re at dinner.
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65. How many egomaniacs does it take for a light bulb? an Egomaniac holds the light bulb while the world revolves around him.
67. How many DIY fans does it take to change a light bulb? One, but it took two weeks and four trips to the hardware store.
72. Winter: The season of trying to keep the house as warm as summer while complaining about the heat.
Jokes One Liners Archive
74. Statistician: Someone who draws a mathematically precise line from unwarranted inferences to prior conclusions.
75. Have you heard of the statistician who drowned while crossing the river? Average depth three feet.
77. Interviewing job applicants: “Can you come up with a reason why you want this job other than your parents wanting you to leave home?”
How To Write One Liner Jokes Includes 100+ Topic Related One Liner Joke Examples…
78. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit on a boat and drink beer all day.
79. Why don’t pirates shower before boarding? They just bathe on the beach.
85. A new study shows that a third of people don’t floss, while the other two—this is because they don’t react to all the local anesthetic in their mouths.
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86. If you catch a mime, should you tell him that he has the right to remain silent?
87. What is called a chicken that crosses the road, falls in the mud and comes back again? Dirty double crusher.
92. New wine is made for cats. Soon they start texting upset and waking up with a headache.
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96. The next day, Dave wants the hair of the dog that bit him. He is currently undergoing a rabies test at the hospital.
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