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Arnold Schwarzenegger And Chuck Norris Meme
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Review: Simon West’s
Chuck Norris is the only person who exhibits Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle – you never know exactly where and how fast he’s going to kick you in the face.
Chuck Norris’ dick is so big it has its own dick, and that dick is even bigger than yours.
He who lives by the sword dies by the sword. The one who lives with Chuck Norris kicks to death.
The Expendables 2
Chuck Norris can be unlocked on Tekken’s hardest level. But only Chuck Norris is skilled enough to open himself up. Roundhouse then returns the Playstation to Japan.
The only thing that can beat Chuck Norris is how many times you’ve been kicked in the face.
The Bermuda Triangle was Bermuda Square until the Chuck Norris Roundhouse started one of the corners.
Movie Tough Guys
They once made Chuck Norris toilet paper. The only problem was he wouldn’t take shit from anyone!
Chuck Norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too scared to beat a path to his door.
The average living room has 1,242 things that Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
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Many redneck and rual farmers enjoy mountain oysters as a special treat on their traditional menu. However, Chuck Norris prefers to personally harvest and shuck Mountain Gorilla Oysters.
A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is “Charles”. Chuck Norris didn’t answer, just stared at him until he snapped.
Crime doesn’t pay—unless you’re a mortician following Walker, a Texas Ranger, on a routine patrol.
Walker, Texas Ranger Quote
They once made Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was one problem– He wouldn’t take shit from anyone.
Chuck Norris’ gaydar is so finely tuned that he can tell if you’ve EVER looked at another man’s ass and will brutally kill you accordingly.
Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
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Jack in the Box doesn’t work with Chuck Norris. They know better than to try to scare Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris isn’t dead yet because he knows Bruce Lee is waiting for him in the afterlife.
At first there was nothing…then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said “Get a job”. It is the history of the universe.
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When Chuck Norris kills you, the government will cover all funerals in full as mandated by the United Nations. It’s the only really good thing they’ve ever done.
When Chuck Norris sends his taxes, he sends white forms and only includes a picture of himself, crouched down and ready to attack. Chuck Norris never had to pay taxes.
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with a roundhouse kick to the face.
Totally True) Kick Ass ‘chuck Norris Facts’
Archaeologists have found an old English dictionary dating back to 1236. It defines a “victim” as “a person who has faced Chuck Norris.”
The most common belief among people is that Hiroshima and Nagasaki were destroyed by nuclear bombs. A not so well known fact is that Chuck Norris was seen in Japan at the time, believed to be suffering from mild flatulence caused by an assassination attempt on uranium sushi. Hence the subsequent radiation.
The term “Cleveland Steamer” was named after Chuck Norris when he visited the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and was buried under a glacier of Northern Ohio feces.
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If you rearrange the letters “Chuck Norris” it also spells “Crush Rock In”. The words “with fists” are understandable.
Chuck Norris doesn’t shave. kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn’t have to answer the phone. Its whiskers pick up incoming electrical pulses and convert them into audible sound.
I Once Ate An Entire Bottle Of Sleeping Pills / Chuck Norris :: Compilation :: Memes :: Funny Pictures / Funny Pictures & Best Jokes: Comics, Images, Video, Humor, Gif Animation
Chuck Norris is the only person who can hold and fire FIVE Uzis at the same time: one in each hand, one in each leg – and he kicks the fifth into the air so it sprays bullets.
How many lap kicks does it take to get to the center of Totsie’s pop? Only one. By Chuck Norris.
According to Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American “Trail of Tears” has been redefined wherever Chuck Norris walks.
Create Meme
Choose a number between 1 and 10. Whatever it is, you’re wrong and Chuck Norris is now on his way to brutally murder you.
Human cloning is banned because of Chuck Norris, because then a Chuck Norris kick can meet another Chuck Norris kick. Physicists claim that this contact would end the universe.
Chuck Norris invented a language that includes karate and roundhouse kicks. So the next time Chuck Norris kicks your ass, don’t be offended or insulted, he might just be trying to tell you he likes your hat.
Dossier] Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris once lost the remote control but kept control of the TV by yelling “Filet of Child” at it between bites of his sandwich.
Chuck Norris owns a chain of fast food restaurants throughout the Southwest. They only serve BBQ flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets.
A man once claimed that Chuck Norris kicked his ass twice, but this was immediately dismissed as false – no one got away with it the first time.
Hire Actor And Martial Arts Legend Chuck Norris For Your Event
Chuck Norris’ kicks don’t kill people. They erased their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
No matter which part of Chuck Norris you aim for, the bullet always lands in the middle of your forehead.
Chuck Norris could order a steak from the PETA cafeteria and get one. But he’s much more likely to kick the crap out of all the sweet little donkeys before the building is reduced to rubble.
The Best Workout Videos From Classic Hollywood Action Stars
Chuck Norris doesn’t follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their asses. Nobody follows Chuck Norris.
In the X-Men movies, none of the X-Men’s superpowers are done with special effects. Chuck Norris is a stuntman for every character.
Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in ravioli. He stuffs a live turtle with beef and drowns it in pig’s blood.
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The original premise of the Survivor series was to take people to an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and no one is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the material.
They’re not after Walker Texas Ranger. It’s actually a list of deaths that happened during the making of the episode.
Chuck Norris decides not to compete in the Ironman because of swimming. Every time he starts kicking and waving his arms, people die!
The Expendables 2 Review
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned on the sun.
MacGyver can build an airplane out of chewing gum and paper clips. Chuck Norris can kill him and take him.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says “Two seconds to go.” When you ask “two seconds for what?”, he kicks you in the face.
I Don’t Wear A Watch I Decide A Time / Chuck Norris :: Compilation :: Memes :: Funny Pictures / Funny Pictures & Best Jokes: Comics, Images, Video, Humor, Gif Animation
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong “Who has more testicles?” competitive. Chuck Norris won 5.
When Chuck Norris goes to give blood, he refuses a syringe and instead asks for a gun and a bucket.
Pluto is actually a roving group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who ended up in space after being kicked in the face by Chuck.
Chuck Norris Was Not At Pro Tump Rally, Viral Photo Was Of ‘look Alike,’ Representative Says
Chuck Norris’ military unit was not used in Civilization 4 because one Chuck Norris could defeat all the combined nations of the world in one turn.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard it can change your DNA. Decades from now, your descendants will sometimes hold their heads and scream “What the hell was that?”.
Faster than a speeding bullet… More powerful than a steam engine… Can leap tall buildings in one spin… These are some of Chuck Norris’ warm-up exercises.
Chuck Norris Has Launched His Own Smartphone Game
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he got it out, the turtle was six feet tall and learned karate.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that kicking is not the best way to kick someone. Historians consider this to be the worst mistake ever made.
The opening scene of “Saving Private Ryan” is loosely based on Chuck Norris’ second grade fireball games.
The Expendables 2 Review (kirk Haviland)
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he’ll kick you in the face.
Chuck Norris originally appeared in the video game “Street Fighter II” but was removed from beta testers because
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