Good One Liner Jokes – If you’re looking for the biggest laughs of the little ones, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve rounded up over 100 of the best one liners that are short, crisp and easy to deliver. And to keep you on your toes, we’ve thrown some puns and jokes into the mix! Still craving more? Check out our collection of cheesy lines and our all-time popular jokes. Then turn to these bad jokes that you won’t be able to laugh at, short jokes that anyone can remember, and for young children, short jokes for kids.
10. Before you marry someone, you should first make them use a computer with a slow internet connection to see who they really are.
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12. Some men say they don’t wear a wedding ring because it reduces blood flow. Well, that’s the point, isn’t it?
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13. Tips for men: Try to compliment your wife once in a while, even if it scares her at first.
14. Did you hear about the shepherd who drove his sheep out of town? He was given a ticket for turning a sheep.
24. Actually, I wouldn’t say anything about him unless I have something good to say. And boy is it good…
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26. It gives me the impression that when we dig a hole it will mark the right place.
29. They treated me like family and I put up with it as long as I could.
31. Their first daughter was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Now they are hoping for triplets so they can have a full team.
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32. I spent a lot of time, money and effort to protect my house…but the kids keep coming.
33. Young son sitting on his father’s lap: “I’m still confused. Was I born in a nest or a pit?”
35. My mother was very surprised when I told her that I was born a second time. He said he didn’t hear anything!
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37. What did one meat eater say to the other while they were eating the joke? “Does that taste good to you?”
40. What do you need to make a little money on Wall Street? Great luck.
41. One of the ironies of Wall Street is that the seller, not the buyer, is the seller.
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42. A rich man is he who is not afraid to ask the clerk to show him something cheap.
43. If you withdraw $2 from an ATM with a $2.50 fee, do you owe money to the machine?
48. The reason some politicians like to write their record is to prevent voters from checking it.
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50. My father hates cotton. He has pills to take, but he can’t get them out of the bottle.
51. You will always be young if you live honestly, eat slowly, sleep enough, work hard, pray sincerely and lie about your age.
52. How can you tell you’re getting old? You go to an antique auction and three people bid for you.
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58. the racing snail that shed its shell? He thought he would hurry him up, but he made him slow.
64. How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but you have to do it while you eat dinner.
65. How many egomaniacs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Next. The egomaniac holds the lightbulb while the world revolves around him.
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67. How many DIYers does it take to change a light bulb? One more, but it takes two weeks and four trips to the store.
72 Winter: the time when we try to keep the house as warm as summer, when we complain about the heat.
74. Statistician: A person who draws a straight line of numbers from an incorrect assumption to an unexpected conclusion.
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75. Have you ever heard of the statistician who drowned while crossing the river? It averaged three meters deep.
77. Job Seeker Interview: “Can you think of any reason you want that job other than your parents wanting you to leave home?”
78. Give a man a fish and he will eat a sun. Teach a man to fish and he’ll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
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79. Why don’t pirates bathe before walking the plank? They are just swimming on the beach.
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85. A new study shows that a third of people do not floss, while the remaining two cannot respond to local anesthetic in the mouth.
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86. When arresting a player, should you tell him he has the right to remain silent?
87. What do you say to a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and then comes back again? Dirty double cover.
92. New wine is made for cats. It doesn’t take long for them to start sending sad messages and waking up.
One Liner Jokes… Comment …
96 The next morning, Dave was looking for the hair of the dog that bit him. He is currently in hospital being tested for rabies.
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