I Didn’t Even Want To Live, But God Forced Me To Reincarnate! is a Webnovel created by LynneSuzuran.
This lightnovel is currently ongoing.
As the nurse carries me slowly, I begin to think of several things…
First, what race am I? What gender am I? Do I look ugly or somewhat tollerable…
What kind of person is my mother? My father? And, do I have sibling?
Somehow, instead of looking forward for my new life, I become anxious over my condition of birth this time.
“Oh, Biancsan, are you heading towards Mrs. Hartmann’s room?”
I hear an unknown voice. I try to take a peek at the source of the voice. And there, I see someone wearing the same uniform as my nurse–it seems her name is Bianc- and… alright, that is all I can see. I should not describe about her chest and her figure, right? That kind of information is not important, after all.
…Not that I envy her. I was only thirteen when I died, so of course my growth was incomplete at that time, right?
Yup, you over there, stop commenting on my own complexion! I can feel that someone is commenting about that behind my back!!
“Ah, Senpai! Yes, I am here to deliver her daughter. It seems her condition is stable these days, and Mrs. Hartmann seems to be recovering well, too. They should be able to get disharged tomorrow morning.”
Oh!! So I am born in the Hartmann family. Which means, this is Riviera country, right? And I should be a human then. And… right, Biancsan said that she was going to deliver Mrs. Hartmann’s daughter–it should be me. Nice, I am still a girl!
…Oh wait, is this an advantage or disadvantage?
Will I be better off being a girl? Or being a boy is waaaaaay better?
I have no clue regarding the Hartmann family’s heir preferrence.
If this is still the same world, anyway… Hmm, if the familiar names are only coincidences and that the world is not the same as my previous world, I am going to write a protest to G.o.d. For playing around with me and my hopes, I won’t be able to last if this were to go on all my life. Don’t put coincidences here and there, and then crush me that it’s just a dejavu.
So, if I recall…
The Hartmann family is also a Duke family in Riviera country. The Hartmann duchy is the Heartswaarth city in the Eastern area of Riviera country. Heartswaarth city is very close to the capital of Riviera country, named the Capitol. The one who named it must have a really great sense of naming.
Alrighty, I am born among the Duke family, again.
The similarity makes me shiver a bit. Will this mean that my living condition will be the same as before? Meh, if it is totally the same, then what is the point?
Anyhow, I am glad I wasn’t sold or given away as an experimental lamb by my family.
Which makes me question… do I have some kind of disadvantageous disease? Let’s hope not…
Eh?
Why would the one wishing to rest in peace and rejecting the idea of reincarnation, now wish for health? Won’t having a life-shortening disease an ideal situation for me?
Well… true, but… now that I have been forced to reincarnate, I had no choice but to start hoping for better life. If I were to have a life-shortening disease or a very short life this time, then G.o.d has got to be playing a prank on me. After He forced me to reincarnate, too.
So, yup. It’s too late to wish for peaceful rest, so why not wish for a better life this time? That way, G.o.d won’t call me pitiful and tried to force me to reincarnate again. Once is enough.
It looks like despite having negative outlook on life, I still can hope for something good!
Not bad, me!
Did G.o.d cure my depression or lift it away from my new mind?
Hmm… my negative thinking is still intact, I guess. I cannot stop antic.i.p.ating for bad things that are bound to happen to me.
Bianca opens a door to a hospital ward and enters the room.
“Mrs. Hartmann, congratulations! Your daughter’s condition is stable already. And the doctors said that your condition was also great. If you wish for it, then you can go home tomorrow in the morning!” said Bianca cheerfully.
“That so.”
This voice… is this my mother’s? Hmm, her response is not that good…
Well… she might not be excited for me. After all, she might be forced to marry the Hartmann family’s son in a political marriage. Or a marriage for convenience, both are the same. It’s normal for n.o.bles to get engaged and married off to other n.o.bles by their respective families, without involving them in the discussion.
Whoa, sorry then, Mother!
Shortly after, Mrs. Hartmann, ah, no, my mother takes me from Bianca’s hands.
Uwa, what a gentle hand! And her scent is nice. I wonder if it is because she is my mother, and that babies have some kinds of instincts?
She brings me closer to her embrace.
Ah, now I can see her face!
My mother seems to be in her twenties and she looks so beautiful!
No, I am not biased just because she is my mother. But really, she has a different aura from the others.
Her hair is a beautiful yellowish silver, and it is long and wavy. Yup, her hair almost reaches her waist.
Her eyes are round and golden. So pretty. My father must be very lucky for getting her.
And then, her expression turns wry.
Oh, uhm… sorry for being born a girl… in case you wanted a boy.
And where is my father? Isn’t he going to come? Oh, is he coming to take us home tomorrow? Or not?
I am having difficulty in interpreting her expression.
Could she be in the same position of my mother? Or is she just a concubine in the Hartmann family?
Surely, giving birth to a heir would ease her life, if that is the case. And I a.s.sume that the heir should be a boy.
I’m only a few days old in this world but my mind is already flooded with questions.
If I knew I would be forced to reincarnate, I should have made a list of wishes I want for my birth circ.u.mstances with G.o.d.
“–y.”
Hm?! My mother murmurred something, but I couldn’t hear what.
She then proceeds to breastfeed me. This is kind of embarra.s.sing but I need it in order to live. I don’t know, but it seems better than getting nutrition from the hospital IV drips.
After feeling full, I gently look up to my mother’s face, as if signalling her to stop breastfeeding me.
“Eh? You’re full already?”
Holy— mother, you can understand me!
“Aaa uu!!” I wave my hands around in the air.
“Fufu, that’s good.”
Ah! Mother smiled! Uwaaa, is this a good signal? So she doesn’t hate me? At least that is sufficient!
“Aaa buu–,” and then I burped. How embarra.s.sing… but babies do this after they drink, right? Y-yeah! I might be 13 years old but… my body is still a baby, you know? I’m totally not making excuses!
“Ah right, tomorrow, you will see your home for the first time.”
Right! I unconsciously smiled.
“…ara, how could I forget to say this… I’m your mommy! …but you already know. How could I mess the order around.”
My mother seems to be a clumsy person. Eh wait, she said “mommy” and not “mother”. So I presume… I should address her “mommy” instead of “mother”.
“h.e.l.lo! Ah-em! Your name is Alrescha Lyra Hartmann. Remember it, okay, Lyra?” My mother—uh, Mommy gently brushes my head.
It seems my name is Alrescha Lyra Hartmann. Glad to finally know my name.
Hmm, by the way, what is this warm sensation I feel in my chest? It feels good. I like this feeling.
Before I know it, it seems I have dozed off to sleep.