I Want Casual Relationship

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Whether you’re figuring out what you want after a breakup or just having the summer of your life, sometimes you just want to date with no strings attached. Sound familiar? Well, casual dating might be for you.

I Want Casual Relationship

A casual relationship, exactly? “Casual dating these days isn’t as straightforward as it used to be,” says Yumna Syed-Swift, LCSW, licensed therapist and owner of Sufiana Counseling Services. “Some people consider casual dating to be dating multiple people with the intention of settling down. Others see it as an agreeable boundary [against] ’emotional capture’.”

Casual Vs Causal

Lindsey Metselaar is a relationship expert specializing in millennial dating and the host of the We Met at Acme podcast.

Rosalind Sedaka is a dating and relationship coach and author of 99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating After 40, 50, and Yes, 60!

Tina B. Tessina, PhD, is a licensed psychotherapist and author of How to Be A Couple and Still Single

Know What You Want So You Recognize What You Don't Want In Relationships

In other words, before you start flirting with a potential fling, you need to understand what casual dating is

Situation. Whether that means going into a short-term situation or dating multiple people, the trick is to make sure everyone is on the same page and shares the same expectations.

Once you and your meeting have a defined definition, it’s also important to set clear boundaries from the start. If you leave things up to interpretation, it’s very easy to cross those boundaries and roast one or more people.

Things To Try If You Want A Casual Hookup, Not A Relationship

That said, casual dating has a lot of upside—it doesn’t have to be complicated as long as you set ground rules and keep your expectations firm.

So how do you keep things calm while reinforcing boundaries? The relationship expert further breaks down the pros and cons of casual dating, explains some rules you’ll want to follow for a successful non-serious relationship, and how to decide if casual dating is right for you. (Shhh, it is.)

Something as complex and personal as relationship styles is often difficult to navigate, and pros and cons can vary depending on individual life experiences. That said, as an intimacy educator and professional dating coach, I’ve seen many common themes surrounding the benefits and challenges of casual relationships over the years. So, without further ado, here are some of the pros and cons of casual dating, in Syed-Swift’s and my opinion:

Casual Relationship: How Do I Tell Him I Want More?

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It would be nice to have a one-size-fits-all answer to this question, but dating experts can’t agree on a specific schedule for how often you should see someone you’re casually dating.

“There’s no magic formula for how much or how little you should see someone,” says Syed-Swift. “…listen to your gut and follow what feels right to you. Different people have different boundaries.” How often do you see someone bring up the agreements you made with each other and your overall dating and relationship goals.

Can Casual Sex Turn Into A Serious Relationship?

In polyamorous circles, a term for casual or casual partners is “comet”. Essentially, someone you cross paths with from time to time—like you’re in the same city—but don’t have a close relationship between meetings. In this case, you can meet a casual partner once or twice a month or even throughout the year.

At the other end of the spectrum, some people choose to see a casual partner several times a week. But if you see someone multiple times in seven days, it can be easy to rely on that connection and develop feelings. So it’s important to know how quickly you become attached—and whether you’re trying to avoid it.

Casual dating doesn’t have to be complicated—in fact, it can be quite simple. However, managing these types of relationships can be easier if you keep these expert tips in mind:

Public Attitudes About Today’s Dating Landscape

If you don’t want anything serious, it’s important to let the person (or people) you’re dating know. “Make it clear from the start that you’re not looking for anything serious,” says Lindsay Metselaar, a relationship expert specializing in millennial dating and hosting.

The podcast “then gives the other person a chance to say they don’t care, or think about it and decide.”

On a first date, you don’t need to make a big statement or deliver, but clearly say something like, “I like spending time with you, but I want to make sure I’m not looking for anything. Serious Now,” will help you clarify your goals and set your boundaries.

Casual Dating Tips, From Relationship Experts

When it comes to relationships, you can’t just set it and forget it. Although everyone agrees at the beginning of the arrangement, things change. So you’ll want to have regular conversations to make sure it’s okay for all partners to be casual and that no vague expectations linger. It’s also a good idea to regularly renew safe-sex agreements, especially if one decides to add a new partner to the mix. (More on that later.)

Check-in and renegotiation only work if you are honest with yourself. Sometimes it’s tempting to agree to a situation that isn’t really right for you—either because you’re forced to take whatever tender love offers you, or because you feel like it.

Wanting but compromising your own needs and boundaries is not sustainable and can lead to drama and hurt feelings.

How To End Casual Dating

In all relationships, but especially when dealing with new and more casual partners – because you don’t know much about them. Being safe can mean “a lot of different things, including sharing locations and information with friends and family, not letting your date over to your house, and practicing safe sex,” says Syed-Swift.

Before you meet someone for the first time, take a screenshot of their profile on a dating or social network and send it to a trusted friend. Also, let the person know when and where you are meeting. Better yet, give your friend a date when you plan to check in so they can notify you if something goes wrong. You can also consider sharing your phone’s location and tracking information with at least one person.

Another no-no: giving too much personal information to a potential suitor, like where you live. Make sure you hang out in public so you can do a gut check before you bring a new person home with you.

How To End A Casual Relationship

Safety is also important in the bedroom. Before you’re alone on a date, talk about safe sex practices, such as using protection and sharing information about STI test results. It’s important to know your safe-sex vendors so you can be sure you’re standing up for yourself if a potential sex partner suggests something you’re not comfortable with.

Additionally, it’s always a good idea to make sure you and anyone you casually date are regularly tested for STDs before entering your body. And once you’re ready to get hot and hard, it’s best to use protection like condoms and birth control to prevent STDs and unplanned pregnancies. Use protection even during non-penetrative sex, as sexually transmitted diseases can also be transmitted through unprotected oral sex. (Hello, dentist!)

. This means you can treat that person as kindly as you would any other person — just without the commitment, Metselaar says.

What Is The Effect Of Casual Dating On Mental Health?

Being in a relationship means you have to be willing to compromise, check in often, and generally keep your S.O. Requirements But with casual dating, some of these expectations can be relaxed. “You can come and go as you please with little accountability,” says dating and relationship coach and author Rosalind Sedaka.

You can casually date one person at a time if you think you can handle it, but one of the benefits of dating is that you’re not bound by traditional relationship standards, says psychotherapist Tina B. says Tessina, PhD.

So don’t be afraid to see many people at once. “It’s okay to casually date more than one person,” she says. “Expectations are low.

Pdf] Everyday Lies In Close And Casual Relationships.

Relationships use a lot of mental energy and, oh yeah, we’re not dealing with one right now! Use the energy you would have spent on the relationship and channel it into work, school, or anything else you enjoy. “Casual dating gives you a social and possibly sexual outlet without demanding your time and emotions,” Tessina says.

Going to a party or other big event alone can make even the most confident person feel self-conscious, so it’s tempting to bring a date along. But social events are great for meeting new people and the occasional (or not so casual) date, so consider going solo.